Signs The Romance has Gone Out Of Your Marriage* You let one rip in your sleep and don't care if he hears.* Talking dirty in bed means shouting obscenities when he hogs theblanket.* Chivalry's as dead as the door he lets slam in your face.* PMS lasts all month.* Your jumbo box of absorbent maxi-pads is on open display.* "Honey, what are you thinking?" is now, "Are you finished yet?!"* He yawns when you bitch about that guy hitting on you at work.* Those frilly, lacy, tiny panties have become way too uncomfortable.* Two weeks no orgasm.* Three weeks no orgasm ... and you still don't miss it.* When he lends you five bucks, he expects it back.* You'd rather spend quality time with your vibrator.* The way he breathes is getting on your nerves.* Spouse using your toothbrush to scrub tile grout.* Candlelight dinners now illuminated by sticks of dynamite.* Spouse has gone from moaning while making love to moaning ABOUT makinglove.* Victoria's Secret? More like K-Mart's Special.* The only thigh you see on your anniversary is at KFC.* Morning breath no longer gives you that same thrill.* Husband's casual suggestions to "try swinging" are growing alarminglyfrequent.* Your husband wants to adopt a 17 year-old waitress from Hooters.* A romantic Saturday night at home now includes Dr.Quinn, MedicineWoman.* Wife keeping list of things she'll do after you're finally dead.* Request for sex now gets you $100 and a ticket to Vegas.