Thursday, July 20, 2006

Signs The Romance has Gone Out Of Your Marriage* You let one rip in your sleep and don't care if he hears.* Talking dirty in bed means shouting obscenities when he hogs theblanket.* Chivalry's as dead as the door he lets slam in your face.* PMS lasts all month.* Your jumbo box of absorbent maxi-pads is on open display.* "Honey, what are you thinking?" is now, "Are you finished yet?!"* He yawns when you bitch about that guy hitting on you at work.* Those frilly, lacy, tiny panties have become way too uncomfortable.* Two weeks no orgasm.* Three weeks no orgasm ... and you still don't miss it.* When he lends you five bucks, he expects it back.* You'd rather spend quality time with your vibrator.* The way he breathes is getting on your nerves.* Spouse using your toothbrush to scrub tile grout.* Candlelight dinners now illuminated by sticks of dynamite.* Spouse has gone from moaning while making love to moaning ABOUT makinglove.* Victoria's Secret? More like K-Mart's Special.* The only thigh you see on your anniversary is at KFC.* Morning breath no longer gives you that same thrill.* Husband's casual suggestions to "try swinging" are growing alarminglyfrequent.* Your husband wants to adopt a 17 year-old waitress from Hooters.* A romantic Saturday night at home now includes Dr.Quinn, MedicineWoman.* Wife keeping list of things she'll do after you're finally dead.* Request for sex now gets you $100 and a ticket to Vegas.
In order to reduce the amount of confusion that endusers might have in identifying the role of certainfiles that they have on their hard drives, Windows XPnow incorporates "smart" file extensions to aid endusers in support and troubleshooting issues.Please consult this reference guide before callingMicrosoft or any authorized Microsoft Support Servicesvendor:.god - Files developed by Microsoft.crap - 3rd party files.porn - Adult image files on an unmarried malescomputer.bible - Adult image files on a married males computer.easyaccess - Undocumented security flaws in Explorer,Outlook, and IIS.forsakendreams - Unfinished novels and short stories.lewinsky - Letters to your mistress.jackson - Information files on your illegitimatechildren.bush - New compression format that give you 1.6Trillion times more disk space but may increase theamount of arsenic and CO that your computer produces.china - Files that will hold 24 other files hostage ifany attempts are made to reference the operatingsystem..greenspan - New products that attempt to preventoveruse of the computer by dynamically adjusting theamount of memory your computer has available(adjusted quarterly).